


Of Course We Knew

by someofthissomeofthat11011



Series: Spierfeld Week <3 [5]
Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Spierfeld Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 21:17:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14317329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someofthissomeofthat11011/pseuds/someofthissomeofthat11011
Summary: Simon was never outed to the school and all that BS with Martin never happened (though screw Martin, seriously, he sucks), and a week before Valentines Day, he and Blue finally meet. They agree to date in secret until they are ready for the school to know, but they’re not as subtle as they think.





	Of Course We Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Spierfeld Day 5: Ensemble

 

~ Bram ~

I stared at the latest email from Jacques. I was 99% sure I knew who he was and I couldn’t deny that I was dying to meet him in person and find out for sure, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this. Ready or not, Jacques was clearly ready.

The same paragraph of the email was playing on repeat inside my head. I had read it so many times since it came through a little after school got out that I'd had it memorized.

_Here’s the thing Blue. I’m tired of hiding. I may not be ready for the whole school to know me, but I am ready for you. If you don’t want to tell people, we won’t tell people. I can’t take only being able to know you only via email. I want to know what you look like, if I ever see you around the hall, if we have a class together. I’ve made my decision, now it’s your turn. If you’re willing to give this a shot, I’ll be at Waffle House right after school tomorrow. You know what color I’ll be wearing. I hope you’ll be there, because I’m really starting to fall in love with you._

I wasn’t an impulsive person. A lot of my classmates usually called me quiet and shy, but really, I’m just a planner. I like to plan my words and actions. I like to think out every possible scenario and make a logical decision. Everything about this screamed “unknown”, but I wasn’t sure I cared anymore. Jacques had turned me into someone that might be ready to be a little impulsive.

Jacques was right. We wouldn’t need to tell the whole school. We could keep this between ourselves for now. I closed my laptop without responding. It was probably cruel, but there didn’t seem to be an adequate response to that email and I was almost positive I would be at Waffle House tomorrow, so Jacques wouldn’t have a long wait.

I slept fitfully that night, waking up every couple of minutes. The idea of meeting Jacques terrified me, but the idea of not meeting him scared me even more. I was practically a zombie throughout school the next day. I could tell some people were looking at me weirdly, but I couldn't do anything to be more alert or attentive. A surge of energy and panic swept through me when the bell rang, releasing me and my classmates for the day.

Despite the insistent voice in my head that kept telling me I wasn’t ready for this, I found myself driving straight to Waffle House after school. I was pretty sure I had gotten there before Jacques considering there was no one else under 50 there.

I was seated and told the waitress I was waiting for someone named Jacques before she walked away. I wished there was something I could be doing, any kind of busy work that could distract me from all the jumbled thoughts in my head. I usually organized office or school supplies when I was stressed out, but I didn't have a readily accessible supply right now. There was nothing I could do but wait.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long. The waitress returned less than five minutes later. Simon was trailing her. I couldn’t help the huge smile that lit up my face. I had been right. I had been hoping it was Simon, but there was always that chance that I was wrong.

Simon took the seat across from me. He must have changed his shirt after school, because I was certain he hadn’t been wearing that sky blue t-shirt during school. I was pretty sure I would have noticed during one of our classes or lunch. Or maybe he had been, but it was under his hoodie. It wasn’t often that Simon’s wardrobe didn’t include a hoodie and jacket.

“Blue?” Simon asked breathlessly. I nodded. “It’s you.”

“It’s me,” I said with a small smile. Just those words made my stomach do flip flops.

“But I thought…” Simon cut himself off.

“What?” I asked curiously.

“I thought you were into Leah,” Simon admitted. I resisted the urge to make a face. Leah was moody and sometimes downright rude, but she was Simon’s friend, so I wasn’t about to say that to his face.

“I don’t really know anything about her. Plus, she’s not my type.” I looked over at Simon, tempted to say something about he was my type, but I couldn’t do it.

Simon nodded. “Yeah, well, I guess I know that now.” The smile that spread across his face was vibrant. It was the kind of smile that made my stomach do somersaults and made me want to do everything in my power to make him smile like that again.

“So, you’re Jacques. Jacques a dit, right?” I guessed.

Simon looked at me surprised. “You knew it was me?” He asked.

“You kind of talk like you write, so I had my suspicions. And I hoped it was you. But I didn’t know for sure until you walked through the door. Did you have any idea it was me?”

Simon shook his head. “I really thought you were straight.”

“Are you disappointed it’s me?” I didn’t know what made me ask that. Probably my nerves. The idea that I wasn’t who he wanted was fluttering around in my head, refusing to leave.

“I couldn’t be disappointed if I tried,” Simon promised me. He glanced around the mostly empty diner before he brushed his hand against mine.

I held his hand for a minute, abruptly hiding it under the table when the waitress returned to take our orders. When she left, I looked at Simon. “What now?” I asked.

“I meant what I said. I’m fine not being out to the world. We’ll take it day by day,” Simon told me. “But we’ll do it together.”

 

~ Abby ~

He was talking. I couldn’t help but stare. Bram Greenfeld was talking. I didn’t know he did that. I exchanged a surprised look with Nick. He looked as blindsided as I felt. When I'd first met Bram I thought I had done something that made him not want to talk to me until Nick had told me that even at soccer practice, Bram was pretty quiet, not talking unless he absolutely had to.

So, when he took a seat, accepted some Oreos from Simon, and engaged Simon in a heated debate about whether the thin mint or regular mint Oreos were better, it didn’t escape anyone’s attention.

I couldn’t help but openly stare at them throughout lunch. They both looked so happy and carefree. I wondered what had happened to cause this change in them.

After they finished arguing about Oreos, they transitioned to the paper they had to write for Mr. Wise’s class seamlessly. If anyone else had been having this conversation, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But this was Bram. Quiet Bram who had sat at our lunch table all year and had rarely said a word.

I got the answer to all of my questions when I was running back into school to grab my textbook. I was going over to Nick’s after school, and we had gotten halfway there before I realized I didn't have any work with me. He planned on doing his homework first, so I figured I should bring something to work on. I knew from experience that he was actually pretty serious about his schoolwork. The school had long since emptied out, so I didn't pass a single student in the hallway. I rounded the corner to get to my locker and stopped dead when I saw Simon and Bram standing outside Simon’s locker. I quietly backed into the hallway so they wouldn’t see me.

They were holding hands. I wanted to scream. Simon and Bram were holding hands and from what I had seen it definitely was not platonic hand holding. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but when Simon spoke, I clung onto every word as if my life depended on it.

“What do you want to do on Friday?” Simon asked.

“I dunno. Our options are a little limited,” Bram pointed out. I frowned. Friday? What was Friday? My eyes widened as I realized that I knew exactly what Friday was. Nick and I had plans on Friday. It was Valentine’s Day.

“Well, I know we can’t go out, but I was hoping to have some time alone with you.” Simon was looking down at their entwined hands.

“Did you tell your parents about us?” Bram asked.

“I told them last night.” Simon let out a sigh.

“How’d it go?” Bram asked.

“About as weird as you’d expect,” Simon said with a shrug. “They made too big of a deal about it. My dad made awkward jokes and we all left unhappy.”

“Sorry,” Bram said sympathetically. From where I was standing, it looked like he squeezed Simon's hands, but I couldn't be sure.

“How’d it go with your mom?” Simon asked.

“I almost hate to say this, especially after how it went down with your parents, but she took it really well. She mostly wanted to make sure I knew to use a condom.” Bram shook his head, embarrassed.

“You’re freaking kidding me!”

“I wish I was. We had the Every-Time-Including-Oral talk. She wouldn’t believe me when I said we weren't having sex.” Bram chuckled. “I guess it’s flattering in a way. That she thinks I have guys falling all over me at school.”

“Well, you have one guy,” Simon promised. “And I think we can safely say that we’re doing Valentine’s Day at your house.”

“I’ll have to run it by my mom, but it sounds like a date,” Bram said affectionately.

He kissed Simon’s cheek and I took that opportunity to pretend to trip as I was rounding the corner to give them time to separate. When I straightened up, I pretended to be surprised to see them. “Oh hey guys. Just grabbing my book before I go to Nick’s. What are you all up to?”

“I’m useless at writing, so Bram’s gonna help me with Mr. Wise’s paper,” Simon explained to me.

I didn’t miss the flush in both of their cheeks or the nervous way they kept looking at each other and I made up my mind. As long as they wanted it to be a secret, I would play along. “Okay, well have fun with that.” I grabbed my book and walked out, exerting an enormous amount of effort not to look back at them. On the inside, I was freaking out.

 

~ Nick ~

I was surprised when Bram gave a note to Simon as he was passing through the cafeteria. I was about to ask him why he was skipping lunch, but was immediately distracted by Abby. I had done everything I was supposed to do for Valentine’s Day. I had gotten Abby the teddy bear and the chocolates and the card. I was taking her to dinner that night. I had it all planned out. I was going to tell her I loved her at dinner when I gave her the earrings Leah had helped me pick out. I was so nervous, but fortunately, Abby didn’t seem to notice. She was bubbly with excitement and seemed to love everything I had gotten for her.

Once she got lunch and set it down in front of her, she gave me a little coupon book that was full of stuff like “one free back massage” and “one free kiss.” She told me that she had something to give me tonight as well.

I was so distracted by that, I forgot that Bram had left until Abby asked Simon where he was. It still surprised me that Simon and Bram seemed to have become best friends overnight. “Si, where’s Bram today?”

Simon had been looking at his phone flustered and looked up. “Oh, he’s somewhere around here,” he said vaguely. He went back to staring at the clock on his phone. Almost as if an imaginary switch was flipped, when the minute changed, Simon stood up. “Bathroom.” He grabbed his stuff and practically ran out of the cafeteria.

I glanced at Abby. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom as well. I’ll be right back.” I kissed her cheek as I stood up. I got out to the hallway just in time to see Simon disappearing out the front door of the schools. I started to follow him, but the security guard rounded the corner before I made it to the door. He knew me well enough from late soccer nights, to know I wasn’t a senior. “I left this really big project in my car. Can I please go get it? My teacher won’t accept it late.”

Maybe it was because I was a good kid or because I was always nice to him when he was locking up the locker room as we were leaving, but his expression softened and he nodded. “Be quick about it.”

I quickly ran outside and spotted Simon and Bram sitting on the hood of Simon’s car. I practically circled the parking lot to avoid being seen by them and walked towards where my car was parked, just a few cars from where they were sitting. “This is so freaking perfect,” Simon said with a grin. His voice was a little muffled, but I could hear him good enough. I peeked around my car. They were eating little cups of Oreos.

“Well, you’re pretty perfect, so I thought you deserved an equally perfect Valentine’s Day,” Bram said with a grin.

“We’re already making dinner together tonight. That sounds pretty perfect.” Simon leaned into Bram’s chest and closed his eyes. He looked like there was nowhere he would rather be than in Bram’s embrace.

“And I genuinely can’t wait to burn some food with you.” I’d never heard Bram sound like this before. I thought he was actually teasing Simon. “But I actually wanted to give you something.”

“I didn’t get you anything,” Simon said, looking guilty.

“Well, we had agreed no gifts…” Bram bit his lip. “So I guess you could say I made you something. It’s kinda childish, but…”

“What is it?” Simon looked at him eagerly.

“I know you’re upset that we can’t tell anyone about us yet. I know you’re ready and I’m just not there yet, so I just wanted to make up for that.” Bram reached into his pocket and pulled something out. I couldn’t see what it was from where I stood. “You don’t have to wear it. I just figured… it’s hard to feel like whatever this is between us is real when we spend most of our day pretending there’s nothing there. I thought this could be my way of really being yours, even at school when we can’t be open about it.”

Simon leaned over and kissed Bram. I stared and stared and stared. They were kissing. I looked away after a minute, suddenly feeling like I was intruding on an intimate moment. How could I have missed it?

I snuck back towards the school, not sure they would have noticed me even if I walked through the parking lot with my own personal parade. When I got back to the table, Abby looked at me curiously.

“Simon and Bram…” I started to say. I was immediately cut off when she put her hand over my mouth.

“I don’t know how you found out, but you can’t tell anyone,” Abby hissed at me.

“Wait, you knew?” I asked.

“Yes, I found out a few days ago. I didn’t say anything, because I figured they would tell us when they were ready.” She looked like she was facing some type of internal struggle. It took a lot for Abby to sit on a secret. She loved gossip.

“I won’t tell anyone,” I promised.

 

~ Garrett ~

I was trying not to fall asleep as I laid down on the turf field. We had an early morning and a potentially all-day Saturday practice to prepare for the spring season. Our Coach was crazy. There had been a big party the night before thanks to a football player’s parents being out of town and it looked like half the team was still a little drunk and the other half was very hungover. Bram had arrived, looking exhausted, but happy. I wondered why he was so tired. He had left the party by 10 because he claimed he had a curfew. I was fortunate enough to have been roped into being the designated driver which meant I spent most of my night and early hours of the morning driving people home, so while I felt like I could fall asleep standing up, I was neither drunk nor hungover.

After we ran a couple of laps and stretched to warm-up, most of the team looked at least a little more alert than they had before. Maybe Coach wouldn’t completely obliterate us at practice. We started to put on our shin guards and spikes to prepare for the actual practice. Coach would be here any minute and we knew better than to not be ready to start practice. She would flip and we would be feeling the burn for days.

“Ugh,” Bram groaned as he looked through his bag. “I have the wrong bag…” He grabbed his phone. “I’ll be right back.” He opened his phone and with a single click of a button, he was calling someone.

“Hey, is my soccer bag in your car?” I heard before he was out of earshot. Bram disappeared into the parking lot.

A few minutes later, Coach arrived and looked around, mentally taking attendance. She didn’t ask where Bram was, but I was sure she noticed his absence. “Coach, may I go to the bathroom?” I asked. I needed to find Bram before he got in real trouble.

She nodded and I sprinted to the parking lot. Once I got past the fence, I spotted Bram and suddenly understood why Coach didn’t say anything about his absence. It would have been hard to miss what was happening in the parking lot. I guess I know who Bram called, because he was kissing Simon through the rolled down window of his car. Simon was clutching Bram’s shirt in his fists and Bram had both of his hands on Simon’s shoulders. I should have looked away, but I couldn’t if I wanted to. There was something about the expression on Bram's face. I couldn't see Simon's, but Bram looked so at peace and as if he thought everything was going to be perfectly okay as long as Simon kissed him.

Bram wasn’t the kind of person that talked about girls… not the way other guys did at least. I always thought that he was just nervous around girls. I didn’t stop staring until they exchanged bags. I realized two things simultaneously. Bram must have spent the night with Simon because nothing else would explain why at 8am on a Saturday, they were together. And, Bram would be heading back to the field any moment. I quickly turned and went back to practice. I didn’t know whether to feel insulted that they hadn’t told me or happy that they found each other.

I had no idea that they were into guys. They clearly hadn’t told anyone. News of this would have spread around school like wildfire. Another part of me was surprised that they hadn’t gotten caught earlier. I could almost pinpoint the exact moment they must have gotten together, because it was the day Bram suddenly started talking to Simon. It seemed so obvious now.

As I rejoined practice, my thoughts were only on them. Bram joined us a minute later, his cheeks flushed and a smile on his face. I had so many questions for him. Were he and Simon just hooking up or were they legitimately together? How long had he known he was gay? Why didn't he tell me? That last one was the big one.

“Sorry that I’m late Coach. I left my bag in my friend’s car. How many laps do I owe you?”

“Just join the practice Greenfeld. And don’t waste anymore of my time.” Coach pointed towards the field where we were supposed to be doing some kind of exercise in pairs. I didn’t know, I was just standing around with the ball. Bram was my designated partner, so I couldn’t really do anything without him.

Bram stared at Coach shocked. She never let people get away with being late or missing practice. This was a first. After a moment, Bram started to run towards me. He looked like he had dodged a bullet… which he kind of had. I was late to practice once, and I can assure you it will never again. Coach took her practices very seriously.

I saw a small, sad smile flicker across Coach’s face when Bram turned his back and I realized what she had done. Life was going to be hard for him and Simon once this got out. She was trying to make it easier while she could.

I had fully intended to bombard Bram with questions about him and Simon, but I couldn’t do it once I realized that. I was with Coach on this one. I wanted to make things as easy as possible for them before they would get really, really hard.

 

~ Leah ~

I was taking a walk, trying to clear my head. I had been doing this a lot lately. It was hard coming to terms with who you are when being who you are goes against this picture you have for your future. It was even harder contemplating telling the world who you are when you're confused about that yourself. That’s how I felt.

I didn’t think that I was ready to acknowledge that I had some crazy, mixed up feelings going through my head or tell anyone else about those crazy, mixed up feelings.

As I walked towards Simon’s house, I debated texting him to let him know I was here, but as a car pulled into their driveway, I thought better of it. Clearly they were expecting company.

I was shocked when Bram Greenfeld climbed out of the car. Before he had taken more than a few steps, Simon came out his front door and walked right up to Bram. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could see them. Bram said something that made Simon blush. A second later, they kissed. I stood still for several minutes after they went inside.

The kiss played in my mind over and over again. I didn’t know why it was reverberating so much with me. When I finally realized, I couldn’t help but frown.

The kiss had been short, a quick peck before they walked into Simon’s house hand-in-hand. For all intents and purposes it had been subtle and short. And that’s what was bothering me. When you kiss someone for the first time, it doesn’t look like that. That was a kiss shared between two people that had a strong emotional connection and who were comfortable with each other. It was a kiss shared between two people that had clearly kissed a lot. It was a completely normal kiss for the two of them.

I wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into it, but I had a feeling I was reading just the right amount into it. It explained so much. Why he and Bram had practically been inseparable at school, why Bram could actually hold a conversation with Simon and only Simon.

For a moment, I was angry that they hadn’t told me. I wanted to walk right into Simon’s house and demand to be told why they were keeping this secret, but after a minute I remembered what brought me on my walk in the first place. And I figured I could understand why they didn’t want to tell anyone they were gay yet. I could understand their reasons and it wasn’t worth obsessing over. Easier said than done, I mused as I began the walk back to my house, thinking of little other than that kiss.

 

~ Simon ~

Bram and I were fidgeting uncomfortably in our seats at the lunch table. This was a big step, a huge step! We had come out to our families months ago and now it was time to tell our friends. Somehow that was scarier than telling our families. Maybe because it made it so much more real to know the people that we spent most of our time with would know this secret that we had spent so much time and effort hiding.

But we were both so tired of hiding. I had been ready over two months ago when we celebrated Valentine’s Day, but I respected Bram’s choice to keep this hidden. And he was finally ready. We wanted to go on a date and not be worried that someone would see us. We wanted to go see a scary movie and cuddle in the reclining chairs. We wanted to hold hands at school and not be afraid to have any kind of physical contact.

But, before we could do that, we had to tell our friends. Neither of us had gotten anything to eat today and we were anxious as we waited for our friends to get their food and sit down. We sat next to each other, like we had every day since Abby and Nick started dating.

Once they were all seated, I looked at Bram. We had planned what to say, but I couldn’t remember a single word of it. From the blank look on his face, I had a feeling he was experiencing something similar.

It wasn’t until Leah asked me if I was getting anything to eat that I found my voice. “Hey, we actually wanted to talk to all of you about something.”

Suddenly, I had Leah’s, Nick’s, Garrett’s, and Abby’s undivided attention. It was an uncomfortable feeling. “You see…” I trailed off and took a deep breath. This was probably supposed to be a spontaneous moment anyway, so maybe it was okay that I couldn’t remember how we planned to do it. I glanced at Bram. He was frozen and I knew he would basically be useless until I told them. I looked back at our friends. “Bram and I are gay. And we’ve been dating for a couple of months now.”

For a split second our table was quiet.

“That’s great man,” Nick said.

“No way,” Garrett said sarcastically.

“Thanks for telling us,” Leah said simply.

“Really? I had no idea. What a complete surprise,” Abby said dramatically.

I stared at them. “You knew?” I asked. This seemed to snap Bram out of his haze.

“How?” He asked.

“You two literally couldn’t be more obvious if you tried,” Garrett said with an eye roll. “I mean, I picked up on it and I am quite possibly the most oblivious person in this school.”

“Does everyone know?” I asked surprised. “And why didn’t you say anything?”

“We didn’t want to embarrass you. We figured you would tell us when you were ready,” Leah explained with a shrug.

“So you knew. You really knew?” I confirmed.

“Of course we knew.”

 


End file.
